Archive for June, 2011

Convivial Minds Want To Know

A man named, Mike Klinger recently shared these words with me and his 30,000+ Facebook fans:

“Asking questions that leads one to discover (things about yourself, others, so-called facts & all that’s around you) is in of itself a path to BALANCE & understanding. No need to know all the answers–Asking the questions moves you there.”

For the record, I have a serious crush on this man’s mind. His words made me think of the time my friend said, “You’re a person who requires a lot of answers.” I’d never thought of it that way, but it’s true. To some, or many, this could translate to being considered a difficult personality. I do feel misunderstood, at times.

For instance, this way of being can get me into trouble with my husband, because a woman who requires a lot of answers might make a man feel like he has to answer to her. Uh oh, watch out for that manhood. That’s never my intention, but the fact is I always want to know what the plan is, where we’re at, how we’re doing. So, yes, I be workin’ some nerves on occasion, but I don’t hold back, because I do it for the good of all involved. There are times when I practice holding back my burgeoning questions and opinions when love is simply needed. Never easy to do and I don’t always nail it.

I require a lot when it comes to storytelling too. (The writer in me is giggling). This same friend was sharing a story and the amount of details they were offering wasn’t working for me, so I began shaking my head as if not enough and said, “I need you to PUT ME THERE.” I’ve also asked my friend to “give me a visual” when needed and my dry eraser board has had maps and mazes drawn on it. Just kidding about the mazes, but it does get pretty entertaining between my friends and I.

I simply want to understand better…deeply…completely.

I like to experience in every way I can, so if something isn’t clear or doesn’t feel right, I pose a question.

When it came to dating, that’s a time when I wasn’t easily won by words.

NOTE to all the single ladies (now put your hands up!):

Men will tell you what you want to hear to get those panties. I always tell my single girlfriends on the prowl, don’t let the guy know (gasp) what your standards are. Let him show you what he’s working with and if he’s willing to work for you. Otherwise, you’re giving him the script to follow and he will act the part if you make it too easy for him. You’ve gotta test ’em without testin’ them or you’ll never know if he’s the real deal or just sending the ambassador. If he meets your standards without knowing or trying, then YOU will know and you will give him a go.

Convivial minds want to know as much as possible, because it can validate so much about how you feel, see the world, and treat yourself.

After reading Mike’s quote, I’m okay with being confused for a difficult personality. I won’t feel bad for asking questions, whether tough or just plain dumb. It takes courage to ask. I’m not someone who requires anyone to answer to her, but I am a woman who requires a lot of answers.

Ahh…sublimely complex never sounded so good…

Are you fond of feasting, drinking, and good company? Join me and my newest creation, The Convivial Supper Club, an intimate tribe of women who gather monthly to dine and enjoy thought-provoking guest speakers, mini-workshops and round table discussions! Come mingle and connect on a deeper level with other women who want to know- when it comes to a woman’s experience- what’s going on…what’s going on. (I always liked that Marvin Gaye song.) Get your invitation to the next dinner here!

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New word for the Convivial Lexicon: Experimenteurship + My Adventures in Life Coaching

“View everything you do as an experiment. The purpose of an experiment is to gather data, to learn something you didn’t know before. The beauty of viewing everything you do as an experiment is that you can never fail. There is no such thing as failure, only opportunity to learn, grow, and renew your determination.” -Susan Page

Recently, entrepreneurial rocker chica, Sally Hope gave credit to @tmfproject on facebook and twitter for saying, “Entrepreneurship should be called “Experimenteurship,” since that’s really what it is.” When I read that line, I could totally relate, because I’m an entrepreneur in my soul and am constantly experimenting. It’s not always easy to give something new a try, let alone tell the masses, “Hey! I’m going to do this,” and then after some time dabbling in it, change your mind.

This new word in my convivial lexicon, Experimenteurship, sparks a memory of the day (more…)

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A Continual Test of Strength: Speaking Up For Yourself

I’m lucky enough to have friends I can look in the face and with whom I can be completely honest.

I’m the kind of personality that doesn’t want to condition people to simply tell me what they think I want to hear.

I want the truth. Even if sometimes it’s not pretty.

For that reason, I use to think that being completely honest with someone, even if what I was saying was hard to handle, was showing that person respect, but not everyone is on the same wavelength. What I continually learn through experience is to

know when to share the truth and when to simply offer love.

I don’t always get it right every time, but my intention is there.

In today’s video, (yes, I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted a video!) I talk with my dear friend, Nina about this whole business of speaking your truth and letting people know where you stand- politely, of course. We’re all continually evolving and learning, so I hope our discussion serves you well and I encourage you to share your thoughts and experiences on the subject!

We all learn from one another if we’re willing to share.

NOTE: There is a lot of background noise which I tried to minimize with iMovie, but that would’ve minimized our voices too, so please forgive my lack of film editing skills and the background noise and try to focus on us! I’ll get better with time and practice.

P.S. Gotta love those screen shot expressions lol

Convivially yours,

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