I’m lucky enough to have friends I can look in the face and with whom I can be completely honest.
I’m the kind of personality that doesn’t want to condition people to simply tell me what they think I want to hear.
I want the truth. Even if sometimes it’s not pretty.
For that reason, I use to think that being completely honest with someone, even if what I was saying was hard to handle, was showing that person respect, but not everyone is on the same wavelength. What I continually learn through experience is to
know when to share the truth and when to simply offer love.
I don’t always get it right every time, but my intention is there.
In today’s video, (yes, I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted a video!) I talk with my dear friend, Nina about this whole business of speaking your truth and letting people know where you stand- politely, of course. We’re all continually evolving and learning, so I hope our discussion serves you well and I encourage you to share your thoughts and experiences on the subject!
We all learn from one another if we’re willing to share.
NOTE: There is a lot of background noise which I tried to minimize with iMovie, but that would’ve minimized our voices too, so please forgive my lack of film editing skills and the background noise and try to focus on us! I’ll get better with time and practice.
P.S. Gotta love those screen shot expressions lol
“There are three crucial types of education: Academic education- reading, writing and basic math; Professional education- the skills to work for money; and Financial education- the skills to have money work for you. Which of the three were you taught?” -Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad, Poor Dad
Today, my Convivial Interview series begins! I’m going to be featuring some amazing women who personally influence and inspire me. You can look forward to these women’s stories of how they’re making tough choices, taking risks, and pushing through the glass ceilings of self-limitation in their minds to create meaningful lives for themselves and others. Stop by each Monday for the next month for all new, inspiring interviews. Let’s get started!
In November 2010, I attended Rich Happy & Hot LIVE with Marie Forleo in New York City and met a beautiful woman from the Chicago area named, Karie Hill. On a break, we got to talk and I asked her about the work she was doing in the world and she said, “I practice Financial Well-being and teach others how to do the same.” As the Chavarria family CFO, an ex-banker-turned-entrepreneur, and Convivial Life Strategist, my eyes lit up as I envisioned the worlds Karie could rock for the better.
and see why I believe her work can change so many people’s lives, including yours… (more…)Tweet
Coming to the stage is my one and only white hot love Danielle LaPorte, creator of the site White Hot Truth. Danielle hails from Vancouver, BC (ehhh) and is one bad mama rocking her business and inspiring legions of other women and men to do the same. Danielle is no one-trick pony. She’s a strategic and intuitive business advisor, fiery and inspirational speaker, creator of one of the coolest note card lines on the web, and mama writer and design mastermind behind the recently launched and amazingly successful Fire Starter Sessions: A Digital Experience for Entrepreneurs.
I’d say her Fire Starter Sessions book is one of the most innovative and brilliant contributions to the online business world yet and its no wonder she’s experienced such acclaim and success thus far. I had the pleasure of meeting Danielle at her Fire Starter Session in Austin, Texas last September and experienced the presence of a woman standing in her current power, setting the stage for truth and authenticity. As an entrepreneurial writer mama who wants to rock her creative bottom line as well, I’m all over anyone who can dish some damn good wisdom and be straight up real with me when I need it most. Danielle is of that divine feminine tribe and I’m dancing and chanting words of wisdom alongside her, always wanting more to fuel the convivial flame that burns within me. As part of my intention and desire to keep the circle of influence and power burning bright from one convivial woman to another, I’m here to let you know Danielle speaks to me…deeply, and now, literally. I hope she strikes a cord within you too. It’s all about passing the torch, baby. Enjoy the interview!
The idea behind Convivial Society is “Know Your Power. Live Your Life.”
When did you become fully aware of your power? What has it taken for you to reach that breakthrough point?
I’ve always been aware of my energy, a fire in my heart…my love and intellect. But it’s been the stretches of life that have shown me its full flavour. I forget who said this: “People are like tea bags, you don’t know how strong they are until they’re in hot water.” It’s been the hot water of business divorce, juggling a wonderful kid with a fabulous career, romantic heart break…you know, the big passages that have shown me my power. And I know it when I see it because it’s gentle and generous.
In what ways do you see women giving up their power and how do you keep yours burning white hot?
We keep our mouths shut. We let logic eclipse emotion. We apologize for wanting what we want the most. Of course, none of this is women-specific, but we do have a knack for getting in the back seat.
How do I keep my fire burning? I treat my home like it’s a temple. I eat a lot of spinach. I hang out with really solid, happy people who are interested in really living. I have a great Buddhist shrink whose main tool is compassion. I don’t apologize for what I want. I get off on being generous. I make time for pedicures.
As you’ve said, “Everything is progress,” and “I wish I would’ve had someone to tell me what the fuck to do,” so how does a woman who knows her power steer the wheel when she doesn’t always know the way?
Just keep driving. You can’t really know where you’re going, but you can be wide awake at the wheel and fuel up when you need to.
As hot as you are, how do you tame those wild things called “Vices” and “Distractions” to stay a glow over the beds of hot coal you consistently walk?
What are vices?
The evolution of a woman’s body is a tricky and sensitive thing. When time between bike rides lapses, how does the voice whispering to your heavenly body sound? What does she say when things don’t all feel so put together anymore? Or when you’ve had one too many (fill in the blank)?
Too many…squares of milk chocolate…or late nights…or days without moving.
This is a big one for me. I spent most of my life in my head, and thanks to a good metabolism, that worked out okay.
My bod’ is my new frontier, the next power source for me to FINALLY plug into. And I’m doing it and loving it.
Yoga, dancing, breathwork. New world of gratitude. I’m going to be one of those conversion stories.
You give much praise to the book The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp. What’s your everyday creative habit/ritual that keeps the flow coming so often? What other books concerning women and creative, convivial living have a permanent place on your bookshelves?
My creative habits: write freehand (not on the computer); pay attention to the first thoughts I have in the morning; rock out – music is my elixir.
Books: Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes is a MASTERPIECE and every woman should read it three times. I think The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron is a classic for good reason. And most everything Pema Chodron has put out has an amazing clarity to it.
So many women play small at times for the sake of others. Would you say you’ve mastered your height and when you feel yourself shrinking within, how do you combat that?
I still shrink. First thing I do is NOT condemn myself for shrinking. I try to be incredibly friendly with the part of me that shrank. And then I can hear what that part needs to say. And what a gift that is.
I’ve also learned to sleep on it when I feel some shrink action about to happen. Be still. Stand tall(er) tomorrow.
What are you willing to go to the ends of the earth to tell your fellow woman about money, the company she keeps, and rocking her talents?
I’m not really willing to go to the ends of the earth to tell people anything. I used to want to be a Messiah, now I’m more interested in being a reporter/Priestess. But I get the spirit of the question… What I want to say is this: You know. You know what you want and who you are. You. Know.
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