Creative Living
Life…An Every Day Celebration
One of many songs I can relate to and one that inspires me to be true to who I am.
It depicts a convivial spirit and strength to live by…
ONE TRICK PONY – Nelly Furtado
TweetYou are a Story
…she is a story whether she wants to be or not.
Because she is a woman.
People watch women as if reading them.
They watch them more closely than they do men.
Because they are more interesting.
Women have been the subject of so much objectification because of their intrinsic mystery.
Some of the greatest figures of worship are female:
the virgin mary
mother nature
earth goddesses
madonna…
people study women the way the devout read books; not so much to learn material as to surrender to a word or phrase that captures ones attention. That is how others perceive women. And that is why non-verbal symbols become weapons.
A strength you don’t use turns destructive.
– The Princessa, Harriet Rubin
TweetThe First Gift
On the way to San Miguel de Allende, my husband and I met a man named Bruce who lived in San Miguel with his wife, Jennifer and two-year-old son, Blaze. First of all, what a cool name for a kid! Second, the parents were even cooler.
There was an instant connection with Bruce and my hubby, so they exchanged numbers and we met up for breakfast a few days later. We were going to eat at Buena Vida Cafe across from Bellas Artes, but they were closed for construction, then headed to La Parroquia Cafe nextdoor to El Tecolote Bookstore and the same story, so we ended up at El Pegaso Restaurant and Bar located on Calle Correo.
I felt just as comfortable with Jennifer as Martin did with Bruce, so the conversation was on! Of course, Martin and I were so curious to hear about how this American couple with a nice, big American baby made the journey to this foreign colonial town to live life. The journey started with just the two of them wanting to visit San Miguel de Allende to learn Spanish and the bigger decision to make a life there was as simple as a moment when Bruce and Jennifer,(newlyweds then) were sitting on a bench at the Jardin, and Bruce turned to Jennifer to say, “Just get me here, ” and Jennifer replied, “Okay. ” It’s been three years since that fateful moment.
In between a few bites of my delicious breakfast of Chilaquiles Verdes, Bruce said something that stayed with me.
In discussing their life raising Blaze in San Miguel, he said, “This is our first gift to our son…dual citizenship in two countries, learning two languages, and being immersed in two cultures so opposite from another.” What a broader sense of the world he will start off with all thanks to a conscious choice his parents made for him.
Martin was able to see how happy they were living in his hometown and he said, “I’ll be honest with you two…I’m jealous,” and that’s when I lovingly interjected and said, “Don’t be jealous, join the club!”
I admire this couple’s courage to try something different, to step outside their comfort zone and give something so unfamiliar a shot.
There are so many choices on how we can live our lives; our kids have little say in the beginning stages of their lives, so considering the benefits they will reap from the conscious choices we make on a daily basis is undeniably courageous and admirable.
Choose wisely.
Tweet20 Ways to Boost Your Confidence
While going through my dusty digital attic of email files, I rediscovered this:
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
20 Ways to Boost Your Confidence
CONFIDENCE … It is sexy, attractive, and alluring to both men and women!
How a person carries and presents himself or herself is a time-tested aphrodisiac. It’s also a quality that both sexes eagerly look for in a long-term partner. Confidence reflects self-acceptance and self-love.
TRUETM Advisory Board member Dr. Ilona Jerabek presents the following tips for building and keeping a high self-esteem. Take these to heart and improve your personal and love life today!
1. Spend some time getting to know yourself.
Use your Advice for Me report from your TRUE Compatibility Test to do some thinking about what makes you “you.” This doesn’t necessarily mean hours of reflection (although some of that is good as well). You can also learn a lot more about who you are by getting out in the world and doing things. Meet people, take up hobbies, volunteer – you’ll discover much about the world and reinforce your own sense of self at the same time. Get involved in your life!
2. Act.
When you’re feeling insecure or doubting your abilities, don’t hide away. Take a deep breath, get out there, and do the very things you’re unsure about … even if you have to start small. If, for example, you want to act in a play, but you’re not sure you can do it, why not sign up for a very small part? You’ll build your confidence.
3. Conquer fear: take risks.
Sometimes life requires a small “leap of faith.” You’ll feel good that you took some risks, even if they don’t always work out as well as you hope. At least you can say you tried!
4. Stand up for yourself.
Low self-esteem often leads to lack of assertiveness; and when we don’t voice what we want and need, we end up feeling worse about who we are. Build your assertiveness skills, and it will get easier in time.
5. Set personal goals.
Decide where you’d like to go, and make a reasonable, yet challenging, plan to get there. Set deadlines and a system of rewards to keep you going. (A goal, by the way, doesn’t have to be a huge life decision, like “become a doctor”. It can be anything you want to have in your life, like “Make one new friend” or “Learn to make jam.”)
6. Learn from – but let go of – mistakes.
Absolutely everyone, no matter how perfect they may seem, messes up from time to time. This is how we learn – like the process of learning to walk as children. If we don’t stumble, we don’t learn how to keep our balance. Keep this in mind as you venture out into the world. Be gentle with yourself.
7. Do things on your own – don’t rely on others to make you feel good.
One potential trap of a shaky self-esteem is dependency on others. The real truth is, if you feel a void inside, no one can fill it but you. While healthy relationships are important for happiness, more important is the relationship we have with ourselves.
8. Don’t compare yourself to others.
You may look at someone and think they have something you don’t, but the fact is they may be looking at you and thinking the very same thing. Someone may be better than you are at tennis, for example, but you can tell a much better joke. Judge yourself by your own standards, for you are unique!
9. Associate with people who affirm who you are.
Do you have toxic relationships with people who criticize you or make you feel small? Take a good look at the people you surround yourself with and how they affect your self-esteem.
10. Learn to say “no.”
You will be surprised how much simpler it is than you think. When you really can’t or don’t want to do something, say so. (In, of course, a polite and non-aggressive manner.)
11. Practice truthfulness.
Avoid white lies. We often fib because we think we are sparing feelings or making things easier, but dishonesty only ends up making us feel bad about ourselves. Don’t present a false face.
12. Practice positive affirmations.
Write down 5 or 10 things you really like about yourself. And next time a negative thought pops into your mind, replace it with something positive.
13. Find things you enjoy.
Whether it’s sewing, drawing, swimming or karate, hobbies are a big self-esteem booster. Even if we are not experts, doing something for the pleasure and challenge builds our sense of who we are.
14. Use visualization techniques.
If you’re anxious or doubtful about your ability to do something (ask your boss for a raise or compete in a marathon, for example), practice visualizing that moment in detail. Imagine yourself pulling it off smoothly. It’ll lower your fear and boost your confidence.
15. Enhance your ability to cope with stress.
It’s not so easy to believe in yourself if you’re stressed out. Develop a repertoire of strategies for calming your spirit and incorporate them into your life as much as possible (like reading a good book, talking to friends, riding a horse or taking a bubble bath).
16. Shun perfectionism.
Interestingly, there is a high correlation between perfectionism and low self-esteem. The more you strive to be perfect, the more frustrated you become when you realize it’s impossible! Be aware of any perfectionist tendencies you have and keep them in check.
17. Make a list of your accomplishments.
Include anything that made you feel good about yourself, without thinking about whether it is technically an “accomplishment” or not. (Your ability to relate to children, your chess talent, the amazing cookies you make, the great short story you wrote.) Refer to it whenever you need a boost.
18. Live in the moment.
The more time you spend dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, the more of the present you are wasting. Life is NOW, and you should get out there and embrace it.
19. Do things for others.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in your own little world and forget that there are people out there who are in need. Give to others (your time, company, whatever you have to share) and you’ll find yourself feeling better about yourself.
20. Take care of yourself physically.
Eat well, get enough sleep, kick nasty habits and get some exercise. Treat your body like it deserves to be treated!
Make Way for Simplicity
I aspire to be surrounded by clean spaces, order, happy colors and people. I want to look around me and go “Ahh…” not “Ugh.”
So I work at it day by day, because I know the effect of clearing my space will only affect me in ways of making room for better people, experiences, and things to ensure that I am honoring my space and therefore myself.
Out of clutter, find simplicity. – Einstein
TweetThink Global.
No boundaries. Imagine that.
Stealing Time
Before I became a mother, I still felt the need to be in many places and serve in many roles for many people, but one thing that I know I’ve always had a strong sense to do is to be there for myself, to make time for me, to love myself in such a way as to make time for my wants, my interests, my needs, etc. Fortunately, I learned at a young age that no one else would do it for me.
As a teenager, I began to travel independent of my parents and never felt homesick. I was on my own and loved the feeling of freedom. Not that my home life was so restrictive, but I just felt this need to be out in the world, running away with the caretaker man, what have you. I knew that when I became a wife, that sense of freedom would not change. My husband would respect my need for independence and space to pursue my interests. Life has certainly brought such a man into my life as well as such experiences. Before I became a mother, I knew that my time would become more important. My child would require my time and attention and I would certainly do my best to make the choices necessary to offer as much of it as possible. I think I have done a pretty good job up to this point and am confident I will only get better with more time and experience as a parent. But before my son came into my life, I told myself that my sense of freedom to be me, to continue learning more about myself and the world and my place in it would not stop just because I now had more responsibilities at home and with family. I would take the time needed for myself when the time came. Guess what? The time has come. I am a wife, a mother, and still an individual woman.
Steal some time away for yourself…there are wonders in the world ready to caress your soul. Being a thief isn’t bad, especially if it causes your heart to slow to a calm beat.
TweetGo Within
When things get busy, mentally crowded or loud around you, take that time to reflect and make sure you are taking care of you and then all that’s pending on your to-do list. Staying busy is not productive; it’s noisy. Get away from it all even if you don’t physically leave your space. The mind is your transporter. When you don’t see or hear from me on occasion, you’ll know I’m off tempting the muse…
Maybe we can meet there sometime…it’s a pretty peaceful and convivial place.
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