A Rich Happy & Hot November (Audio File)
Get me a ticket for an airplane! Ain’t got time to take a fast train…lonely days are gone…I’m a comin’ up!
I’ll be trekking all the way from Texas to the Big Apple to attend the Business and Lifestyle event, Rich Happy & Hot LIVE with Marie Forleo!
I didn’t win the contest but I’m still going to be part of this amazing event. To get more details on how I went from dreaming about being there to making it a reality, check out the following convivial audio file!
LISTEN HERE
Cheers to going for what you want!
XO Cheryl Chavarria XO
TweetWords of Wisdom from America’s Sweetheart
My boyfriend keeps telling me I’ve got to own things. So, first I bought this car. And then he told me I oughta get a house. ‘Why a house?’ ‘Well, you gotta have a place to park the car.’ -Julia Roberts.
OWN YOUR LIFE.
It belongs to you first. Then whoever you wish to share it with & however you want to live it…well, that’s still a choice you own.
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Self-Definition: Choose Your Mirrors Wisely
An excerpt taken from Walking In This World by Julia Cameron:
“All of us are creative. Some of us get the mirroring to know we are creative, but few of us get the mirroring to know how creative. What most of us get is the worried advice that if we are thinking about a life in the arts, we’d better plan to have “something to fall back on.” Would they tell us that if we expressed an interest in banking?
It could be argued that as people and as artists, we are what we are- however, we also become ourselves, all of ourselves, by having our largeness mirrored back to us.
I think of a scene from the Disney version of Cinderella, when the heroine sees herself in the dress for the first time and realizes she is a beauty…There is a magical “click” of recognition when the looking glass says back,
Yes, we are what we dream.
Too often we lack such mirrors and such transforming moments. No magic wand taps our life to make us into what we dream. Like Rumpelstiltskin, the artist most frequently has to name himself.
“I am an artist”- a filmmaker, a composer, a painter, a sculptor, an actor, or something {a convivial woman}- something the outer world has yet to acknowledge.”
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Rich Happy & Enough
Today I tested out a revolutionary idea…the idea that I am enough.
It all started with my desire to win a ticket to attend Marie Forleo’s Rich Happy & Hot LIVE. It’s a business and lifestyle event for women entrepreneurs being held at Donna Karan’s Urban Zen Center in New York City November 12 – 14th, 2010.
I checked out the information a couple weeks ago and thought, Uhh, heck yeah this is where I need to be! So I clicked for more details on registration and cost and was stopped in my tracks when I saw that it costs $1497 to attend! (my wallet’s hearing alarm sirens go off) It didn’t take me long to click out of that box…sadly!
I’d be willing to charge it to my credit card, but I’ve been a good girl lately by not spending frivolously, and this certainly wouldn’t be careless to spend on, because the way I see this is like education. I mean, how much did I spend in college on freaking calculus and I don’t use a damn thing of anything that I learned there. But I just can’t do it right now.
THEN, Marie sends me an email inviting me to come to New York for the weekend (more…)
TweetMy Shedventure to the Mexican town of San Miguel de Allende
I was graciously asked to be a guest writer by Bindu Wiles for The Shed Project, an 8-week adventure in letting go that she launched in early September. The project is about coming together as an online community, to support each other in letting go of excess baggage, of whatever is weighing you down. It could be your need to let go of material goods, negative thought patterns, a job, a lifestyle, etc. It’s still going on, so if you haven’t joined in, learn more here.
So, here’s my story about a time when I let go of all that was comfortable, of a life I was no longer happy living, and the details of the results yielded from taking a risk and following my heart’s desire…
Every act of creation starts with a feeling.
TweetThe Seed is Planted
Tomorrow, my guest post for The Shed Project will appear on Bindu Wiles site, as well as here, so I thought it would be ideal to share this photo I snapped of one of my journal inscriptions in 2004- the year I made the decision to pursue a feeling of bliss and let myself go where my heart led me.
The piece I am sharing for The Shed Project will elaborate MUCH MORE and share the full story with you, but I simply wanted you to see where the seed was planted. The story on Bindu’s site is the full-fledged blossoming of what happened when I let myself go…
Guest Post by One of My All-Time Favorite Friends
Is it time for you to go from What Happened? to What’s Next?
I’d like to share these words of wisdom one of my all-time best friends, Juan Carlos Bernal recently shared with me.
Carlos (as I know him) has been very encouraging and supportive of my efforts and message at Convivial Society and I couldn’t be more grateful to have someone like him in my corner.
It’s certain that neither him nor I ever imagined he’d be making an appearance here since my site targets women and he’s a MAN MAN, but his words struck me as being pretty powerful and I felt it would be selfish on my part to keep them all to myself. I’m sure we can all benefit from some tough talk and love every now and then, so with his permission, here they are…
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Mantra: What’s Your Thought Form?
I have this humongous Synonym Finder that I’ve had since my sophomore year in High School and keep handy, because looking up words and all the many different ways to say things fascinates me. The next best thing to that is Google, Wikipedia and Merriam-Webster online. I also love the book Sin and Syntax, and perusing books by Karen Elizabeth Gordon. (Feel free to share you favorite resources in a comment!).
So, I found myself hanging out on my bed with my friends, Synonym Finder, Laptop and my All Things Convivial notebook and I started thinking about the word Mantra. The following post evolved because of that thought…
MANTRA: is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that are considered capable of “creating transformation”; a translation of the human will or desire; an expression of “Being”; “Thought forms.”
Here are my thoughts in word, sound and symbol form (as well as a brief history behind how they came about for me):
Word: Convivial
The year is 2001 and ‘m watching Barbara Walters interview the cast of the movie, Ocean’s Eleven. Leading lady, Julia Roberts is surrounded by Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Don Cheadle. Along these lines, Barbara asks her, “So how was your experience making the movie with all these great guys?” Julia purses her lips as we all know her to do and says, “Convivial.” Like a gust of wind to the depths of my soul, I was overtaken by the sound of this word. Never forgot it. As you can tell.
Mantra: Know Your Power. Live Your Life.
Sitting in my kitchen with my dear friend, Nina thinking of a tag line for my soon-to-be site, Convivial Society. What do I want to say? What is my message? Those were the questions to kick off our brainstorming session. Nina wrote while I threw out words and phrases, scratching this and that off the list…then…it hit me…and she smiled and wrote it down. That was it. No doubt about it.
Symbol:
While working to create the logo for this site, I provided these details to the designer for logo creation:
Need a logo designed for woman’s website that will focus on empowering and connecting women in age group 20-40’s who want to learn from and share their experience with like-minded women who are ambitious, original, caring, energetic, positive, fun-loving, and seeking the guidance,resources and relationships to live a convivial life.
(Wanted designer to get a feel for me, since I am my target market, so I said the following…)
Intuitive, insightful, thoughtful, lover of the written word, creative, writer, diligent, vigilant, persevering spirit, embrace strength, humility and vulnerability ; love the words equanimity, rhapsody, sexuality, harmony, bossy…and lovely.
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Convivial times, indeed.
When you imagine your thoughts in “form”. What do they look like? Sound like? Feel like?
TweetTime To Come Undone
Oh, it’ll take a little time, might take a little crime to COME UNDONE*.
We’ll try to stay blind…to the hope and fear outside…Hey child, stay wilder than the wind.
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*Click for song by Duran Duran
TweetRethinking The Word: Commit
Once upon a time, I had a Sacred Sexy session with Lisa Carmen and we decided to embark upon a little something called a “blog challenge” to see if it would encourage us to be more disciplined with our writing. But I soon realized that
Writing to have a presence is not the answer
We came to the understanding that blogging every day for a set number of days wasn’t the lesson to be learned. We found comfort in knowing that it was okay not to fulfill this commitment, because this commitment was not fulfilling us.
Deep down, I felt putting words on the screen just for sake of putting words on the screen didn’t feel right. Gotta love the genius Seth Godin for enlightening me when he said it is my duty to find words for my readers, not readers for my words.
The words I choose must come from a place that is natural, wild, convivial, and sometimes, undisciplined. And I’ll add that the timing can be unpredictable for such results. The way I see it…
It’s better for me to view my commitment to writing as this:
to write when I feel like it, when I am moved to do so, when I am called to pick up the pen, or ecstatic to share something, and compelled to transform emotion to the paper. Simply, do and write what feels right.
Art/Emotion/Communicating/Feeling- all synonymous words when it comes to the art of convivial living, I’d say.
Many times, we get bogged down with keeping commitments that aren’t serving us. We feel the resistance within, yet we ignore it, because it’s what we’ve been conditioned to do- ignore the gift of feeling and go with logic. The body is your guide and won’t steer you wrong.
Artists inspire other artists, no doubt, so here’s my way of letting go of anything that doesn’t bring me joy, doesn’t inspire me to be fully present with my words.
Here’s a great parting statement to bid farewell to my blog challenge, or any commitment that isn’t honoring you. The words of the unforgettable Anais Nin…
“One word I would banish from the dictionary is ‘escape.’ Just banish that and you’ll be fine. Because that word has been misused regarding anybody who wanted to move away from a certain spot and wanted to grow. He was an escapist. You know if you forget that word you will have a much easier time. Also, you’re in the prime, the beginning of your life; you should experiment with everything, try everything…
We have created false dichotomies; we create false ambivalences, and very painful ones sometimes- the feeling that we have to choose. But I think at one point, we finally realize, sometimes subconsciously, whether or not we are really fitted for what we try and if it’s what we want to do.
You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right too. No, I think there was too rigid a pattern. You came out of an education and are supposed to know your vocation. Your vocation is fixed, and maybe ten years later you find you are not a teacher anymore or you’re not a painter anymore. It may happen. It has happened. I mean Gauguin decided at a certain point he wasn’t a banker anymore; he was a painter. And so he walked away from banking.
I think we have a right to change course. But society is the one that keeps demanding that we fit in and not disturb things…“
-Anais Nin
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How do you feel about letting go of commitments that aren’t serving you? Do you always seem to be taking on too much, giving too much (is that really possibly a bad thing?)? What changes can you make right now to put your attention where it needs to be?
Be brave enough to go first,
Create. Embrace. Enjoy. Space.
On September 14th, Bindu Wiles launched The Shed Project, 8 Weeks of Losing It / An Adventure in Letting Go. Here is a woman who has created a space for anyone to join her in shedding anything from material possessions to love handles to burdening thought patterns. What an adventure to embark on!
I am someone who has usually found some ease in letting go- I repeat, some ease, because somehow I knew and felt there was something or someone on the other side, reaching for my hand, patiently waiting for me to grab onto it.
Space…it’s something I’ve always been very comfortable with and enjoyed. The first time I recall my ability to let go of what was to embrace what would be was the summer of ’93 when my friends and neighbors in Chicago, The Delira family, announced they would move back to their hometown of Aguascalientes in Mexico. I was about to lose five friends all at the same time.
They were my everyday go-to crowd. Our time together consisted of making cotton candy while dancing to Madonna’s Like A Virgin song, creating fake money out of grocery store ads when our monopoly money ran out from long intervals of playing, reenacting entire movie scenes from Mermaids (I played Winona Ryder), rollerblading through Lincoln Park to Chicago’s Boardwalk and back, and cruising the streets of Chicago singing Cathy Dennis’ song, Too Many Walls. We thought the world was all ours and it truly was in every one of those moments.
When they said they were moving away, I don’t remember taking the news hard. I simply accepted the direction life was taking us. When they left, I remember being alone. Still…I managed my way through it all. I knew I would see them again…someday and trusted the time and new space that surrounded me would bring me comfort and new people and experiences would enter my life. Eventually, they did and a new phase of life began.
In 1995, it was my family’s turn to pack up. I’d been away for nearly 6 weeks during my summer break working at a camp in Orr, Minnesota when I got a call from my mother letting me know as soon as I returned, our family would plan to move back to Texas. I had grown up in Chicago’s inner city, spent the most crucial years of my upbringing there, years that shaped me as a person, was almost finished with high school, and had all of my friends there, but the first thing that came out of my mouth was, “Can we PLEASE go to Austin?” I was ready to go. It was just my nature to accept and embrace the new.
I’ll always remember one of my last nights before moving. I was with two close friends and we were huddled together, arm in arm, swaying back and forth listening to Boyz II Men’s song It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye. We were being overly dramatic and trying to make ourselves cry but we laughed more than anything. I thought I would really start crying or feel depressed when it was time to go, but it didn’t happen. I was ready to move forward and it didn’t mean that I didn’t care enough for my friends. I trusted the friendships would survive the change and that I would do my part to nurture them. Fifteen years later, they are still in my life and we’re as close as can be. One of them even served as my labor coach when I had my first son. She saw my vagina and e’erthing. Yup, she’s still my friend.
Shedding a new skin is hard to do, but I’m always reassured that taking this action is necessary and good for me. It’s another way of expressing my personal evolution and there’s no need to fear what results from it. So, I continue the ritual today with The Shed Project.
It’s a regular habit of mine to get rid of stuff around my house, thus making way for new things to enter, but after reading The Law of The Ugly Chair by Danielle LaPorte, I am reminded to be even more conscious of what I consider sacred to me and give it the space it deserves.
I’m thrilled that Bindu has asked me to guest write a post for The Shed Project and can’t wait to share it with you all so when the post is up, I’ll definitely let you know! My hope is to inspire you to embark on your own journey of shedding your skin for one that better suits your spirit. If you’re intrigued to learn more or ready to join the shedventure, check out Bindu’s launch video and sign up!
Tweet5 Things That Keep Me Centered
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1. Watching and quoting lines from any one of these movies: Say Anything, For Keeps, Good Will Hunting, Sound of Music, The Departed, Like Water For Chocolate, Snatch, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Austin Powers, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
2. Looking into either my husband’s or both son’s eyes and telling them I love them while running my hand through their hair
3. Having a hyena laugh out loud moment with my mom or people-watching with my Dad
4. Sending snail mail to my friends or gifts just because
5. Remembering who I am and what I am here to do
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It’s hard to narrow anything down to a top five list, because there are so many ways I like to treat myself, so I’ll keep writing!
I like to blast Enigma or Deep Forest throughout my home, dance salsa, read Brian Johnson’s Philosopher’s Notes, be around my extended family and make everyone laugh unexpectedly, smile at a random stranger and send them love from a distance, tell the waiter I’ll take two orders of dessert…just for me, watch my two year old run around trying to make his homemade Superman cape fly, cheer on my 10 month old as he reaches milestone after milestone, offer advice to my friends when they need it, get a massage or facial, travel to new places, return to places that really stayed with me, drink lychee flavored bubble tea, rollerblade in empty parking garages gleaming the cube style, make myself french toast at midnight on occasion, and of course, express myself by way of the written word.
Although that doesn’t even come close to saying it all, I’ll go ahead and stop right there. I’m always up for new ideas, so feel free to drop me a comment and let me know how you like to treat yourself!
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