Ambition

Already In Your Proper Place

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I had a meeting of the minds that caused a stir in my soul and the thoughts and realizations I took home have me brewing with possibility and wonder.
I met with Lisa Carmen- Life Coach, Burlesque dancer and choreographer for Dallas-based group Les Femmes Aplomb as well as creator of the site SacredSexyU. Need help getting more in touch or reconnecting all over again with your sensual side? Learn more about her program here! Lisa and I have been soul friend’s long before we met, so when it came time to mix the physical with our mental as was done over mojitos and micheladas, it got emotional. Alcohol was not a factor! There was a lot of smiling, giggling, and convivial mingling just as women do best, but what really went down was the experience of a full circle effect for me, the beauty of synchronicity, two apparent strangers going beyond the surface, and Lisa and I bowing to the universe for conspiring in favor of our new friendship. Meeting Lisa was like reuniting with a long lost love. I was thrilled to be in her presence and humbled to know she was just as excited to be in mine. I felt honored to receive her love and challenged by her adoration, because it holds me accountable to my heart’s desire and calls me out and onto the stage I’ve created for myself. Being the star of the show is not a role for which I ever auditioned…until now. When there is potential for me to play the leading lady, (read: woman in charge, as we all want to be!) I swear the butterflies are on me like bees to honey, fluttering about my stomach. Just the idea of debuting Convivial Society rocked my nervous system! I mean, how do you take something so private, like my writing, my art, something so intimate, spiritual and close to me, and make it public? You just do, because you know that it has to be shared for the world to benefit.

As an introvert, I have good reason to shy away from the limelight, to avoid the big crowds, but in meeting with Lisa, I realized that the light’s gotta shine on me at some point. The stage awaits. It’s simply a matter of when I’m willing (or pushed) to step forward and shine. Being the observer, the behind the scenes gal and feeling most fulfilled with one-on-one interactions has been the norm for me, yet my vision for Convivial Society is going to require me to come out from behind the turquoise curtain to take an occasional bow, cause some laughter, shed some tears, receive applause, glimpse a few yawns, hear potential boos and face numerous critics. It’s going to force me to stand firm in who I am and cause me to move forward anyway, because if I want to make any desire a reality, I have to accept the natural fear that comes with new endeavors and say, Fuck it. I lose nothing and gain everything. My life and the lives of those affected are richer for it.

Having great power is the reality of our existence, yet reality can be intimidating and scary. There’s always going to be doubt lurking in the background, trying to convince me that I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know who I am or what I truly want, perhaps even that I don’t fully believe in myself. This is where my tribe enters the scene to help me combat the mind and push forward with the heart. Instead of trying to become, I am trying to be…just be and by trusting, I learn more about my own power- what it feels like, looks like, sounds like, and oh what a beauty she is! The company I keep will test my commitment to further grow in my power and exercise it. The people we attract into our personal hemisphere are there to offer us what we need, especially when we aren’t aware of how much we need it. They should be someone we can open up to so that our vulnerable skin can be fully revealed and no room is left for judgment or disappointment. As a High Priestess once said, people operating from their true strengths are generous as hell with their gifts and encourage you to operate just the same. You’ll have no other option but to be real, honest, and on your game, shining through as you do you. Take me by the hand…yes, we all want to be led, but there comes a point when it is time to lead. Not sure how to go about it? Seek out your mentors, call on those friends who share the same vibration, and be willing to explore the questions that will cause you to sweat out your insecurities, render you completely vulnerable. I am better for my recent meeting with the Sacred Sexy Lisa and look forward to more with her and others in my convivial circle for now I know such people cross my path to reassure me that I am exactly where I need to be, doing what I am meant to do, already in my proper place.

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21.5.800: An Experience For Writers Who Want to Move

Thanks to Bindu Wiles, my newest challenge and personal commitment began on June 8th. For 21 days, I’ll be in spirit with Bindu and numerous other well-intentioned people from around the world doing 5 days of yoga a week and 800 words of writing per day. Along with the goal to condition my body and mind, I’ll use this project as another opportunity to share how it serves me spiritually. Namaste!

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I write to empty my mind and to fill my heart. Writing is easy: just stare at the screen of your computer until a tear drops on your keyboard. -Paulo Coehlo

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A Force to be Reckoned With

I find myself reading a brief, well-written biography on the notorious tattoo artist of the popular TLC show L.A. Ink, Miss Kat Von D. It seems more like the foreword on a book. As I read the piece, written by a close friend, what stood out to me most was when the writer mentioned how Kat was “incredibly loyal to her family.” Instantly, I could relate and found something in common with the beauty. She’s not your everyday girl, choosing the body she was born with as her art canvas-something many people wouldn’t comprehend or agree with- and being of somewhat Latino descent, as well as beautiful, I couldn’t help but wonder what her family thought of her work- if they saw it as art or if they simply saw a tattooed body. Did they agree with her chosen way of life? I know how my Mexican mother would view her lifestyle, and the assumptions that would be made about her as a person, but I can’t do that. I respect her work, admire her person. The fact that she is spoken of by friends as a dedicated and loyal member of her family, to her family, tells me perhaps that her family may have supported her aspirations all along. What a huge feat for a woman. To go for what she wanted and be fully backed by the members of her tribe. It’s no wonder she has turned out so successfully and my hope is that she is completely happy. It’s funny how people can be hypocritical. They can smile in your face and then when the time comes to offer up an opinion about you, they chicken out and go with the negative flow of thoughts they may have been harboring about you or your lifestyle or even simply the poor choices you’ve made in your life. People don’t deserve to be judged. Women play a huge role in judging others, one another, themselves, and this is because they are constantly under a watchful eye that doesn’t really exist. It’s all in our mind. And the strength of our heart has the power to combat it. If we could break free from concerning ourselves with what others think of us, stop defending who we are and how we want to live our lives, then we can break the cycle of prejudice and put to rest that hurtful voyeur who dwells within. She is not of your true being. Love your fellow woman and support her art. We all have a desire to create. Women, if given the freedom to be who they want to be, can show the world their wonders. Our place as the bearers of life to this dependent, ever evolving mother earth proves we are the epitome of creativity and a force of nature to be reckoned with.

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To be…to be…never a question.

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Open Your Eyes…Follow Your Heart…Act, Doubt, Act, Doubt, Act, BE.

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Take time to reach God, reach creation, reach you.

(God. Creation. You.)

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Behold it. Become it.

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Be Impeccable With Your Word

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The Infamous Writer’s Question

For as long as I’ve called myself a writer, there is always the infamous question posed by others about my craft, “So…what do you write?” Many times before, I’d draw a blank. What do I write? Is there a name for it? I mean, a specific one? I was being asked to label what I wrote, and I’m not a fan of labels. I felt cornered to give it a name, as if it was the same thing each time I wrote, the same message, the same impact. And it never is. Only now have I figured out the simple truth about what I write and all gratitude goes to Beat generation writer, Jack Kerouac. According to Jack, and now me, “I write how I feel.” Simple and true. However, this answer may not satisfy inquiring minds, but let me continue with what Jack once said: “Write how you feel, because feeling is the essence of intellect, because without feeling nothing can be known…” Jack’s idea can easily transfer over into every day life, as well. Recently, I was reminded by a dear friend that we are here to take nothing away with us; only to experience. As a writer, I am here to experience, to feel all that I can, and to express it in a way that is true to me. I am nothing other than pure energy and feeling in this world.

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Say Yes To You

“If you say YES to yourself, if you let your imagination fly, if you open one stuck, fear-wharped door, other doors you never even noticed fly open, pushed by a spirit strong as a hurricane.”

-Beverly Donofrio, author of Riding in Cars with Boys

Say “Yes” to people and experiences that nourish your spirit; it’s mandatory, top priority. Me, myself, and I…take care of numero uno and the rest falls into place.

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Fail Fast. – Seth Godin

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