Beauty

Discover Your Style and Make a Statement

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I’m a faithful supporter of Danielle LaPorte’s site called White Hot Truth and am grateful for the moment in time we shared at her exclusive Austin, Texas Fire Starter Session in September 2009. Her energy was radiant, sexy, alluring, enlightening-my kind of company. She co-authored the book Style Statement and so I got a copy to appease my curiosity and potentially discover more about myself and what I wanted to say to the world. After some serious fun scribbling down and analyzing all the little idiosyncrasies that make up who I am, I discovered (well, already knew but wanted the confirmation) that my style statement is:
Genuine / Sensual. Ultimately, I have the final say about who I am and this book’s conclusions about me are not the end all, but I’d still like to recommend the experience of getting to know oneself better via the Style Statement book. If you’re interested in causing the gems that make up your mind, body and soul to surface and reveal themselves, grab a copy of the book and get started answering some pretty intimate and intriguing questions about yourself. I’ll post my personal notes and insights gathered from this fun experience at a later time.

Learn more about finding your Style Statement here.

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Mature Beauty

Mature beauty stems from woman’s sense of personal authority and the richness of her life. The mature erotic woman possesses the quality of inner harmony that communicates a sense that she is at ease with herself. Obviously she cares about her health and good grooming, but she has clearly found a style that suits her. She exhibits a flair for vibrant and sensual colors, and the cut of her clothing compliments her feminine curves, but does not scream, “look at my body parts.” Most importantly, mature erotic women glow from within. It is this luminosity that is so enormously attractive. Crone women who have continued to grow and are following their personal path of power are truly luminous beings of great worth. This is the promise of mature erotic beauty.

-Source unknown

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20 Ways to Boost Your Confidence

While going through my dusty digital attic of email files, I rediscovered this:

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
20 Ways to Boost Your Confidence

CONFIDENCE … It is sexy, attractive, and alluring to both men and women!

How a person carries and presents himself or herself is a time-tested aphrodisiac. It’s also a quality that both sexes eagerly look for in a long-term partner. Confidence reflects self-acceptance and self-love.

TRUETM Advisory Board member Dr. Ilona Jerabek presents the following tips for building and keeping a high self-esteem. Take these to heart and improve your personal and love life today!

1. Spend some time getting to know yourself.
Use your Advice for Me report from your TRUE Compatibility Test to do some thinking about what makes you “you.” This doesn’t necessarily mean hours of reflection (although some of that is good as well). You can also learn a lot more about who you are by getting out in the world and doing things. Meet people, take up hobbies, volunteer – you’ll discover much about the world and reinforce your own sense of self at the same time. Get involved in your life!

2. Act.
When you’re feeling insecure or doubting your abilities, don’t hide away. Take a deep breath, get out there, and do the very things you’re unsure about … even if you have to start small. If, for example, you want to act in a play, but you’re not sure you can do it, why not sign up for a very small part? You’ll build your confidence.

3. Conquer fear: take risks.
Sometimes life requires a small “leap of faith.” You’ll feel good that you took some risks, even if they don’t always work out as well as you hope. At least you can say you tried!

4. Stand up for yourself.
Low self-esteem often leads to lack of assertiveness; and when we don’t voice what we want and need, we end up feeling worse about who we are. Build your assertiveness skills, and it will get easier in time.

5. Set personal goals.
Decide where you’d like to go, and make a reasonable, yet challenging, plan to get there. Set deadlines and a system of rewards to keep you going. (A goal, by the way, doesn’t have to be a huge life decision, like “become a doctor”. It can be anything you want to have in your life, like “Make one new friend” or “Learn to make jam.”)

6. Learn from – but let go of – mistakes.
Absolutely everyone, no matter how perfect they may seem, messes up from time to time. This is how we learn – like the process of learning to walk as children. If we don’t stumble, we don’t learn how to keep our balance. Keep this in mind as you venture out into the world. Be gentle with yourself.

7. Do things on your own – don’t rely on others to make you feel good.
One potential trap of a shaky self-esteem is dependency on others. The real truth is, if you feel a void inside, no one can fill it but you. While healthy relationships are important for happiness, more important is the relationship we have with ourselves.

8. Don’t compare yourself to others.
You may look at someone and think they have something you don’t, but the fact is they may be looking at you and thinking the very same thing. Someone may be better than you are at tennis, for example, but you can tell a much better joke. Judge yourself by your own standards, for you are unique!

9. Associate with people who affirm who you are.
Do you have toxic relationships with people who criticize you or make you feel small? Take a good look at the people you surround yourself with and how they affect your self-esteem.

10. Learn to say “no.”
You will be surprised how much simpler it is than you think. When you really can’t or don’t want to do something, say so. (In, of course, a polite and non-aggressive manner.)

11. Practice truthfulness.
Avoid white lies. We often fib because we think we are sparing feelings or making things easier, but dishonesty only ends up making us feel bad about ourselves. Don’t present a false face.

12. Practice positive affirmations.
Write down 5 or 10 things you really like about yourself. And next time a negative thought pops into your mind, replace it with something positive.

13. Find things you enjoy.
Whether it’s sewing, drawing, swimming or karate, hobbies are a big self-esteem booster. Even if we are not experts, doing something for the pleasure and challenge builds our sense of who we are.

14. Use visualization techniques.
If you’re anxious or doubtful about your ability to do something (ask your boss for a raise or compete in a marathon, for example), practice visualizing that moment in detail. Imagine yourself pulling it off smoothly. It’ll lower your fear and boost your confidence.

15. Enhance your ability to cope with stress.
It’s not so easy to believe in yourself if you’re stressed out. Develop a repertoire of strategies for calming your spirit and incorporate them into your life as much as possible (like reading a good book, talking to friends, riding a horse or taking a bubble bath).

16. Shun perfectionism.
Interestingly, there is a high correlation between perfectionism and low self-esteem. The more you strive to be perfect, the more frustrated you become when you realize it’s impossible! Be aware of any perfectionist tendencies you have and keep them in check.

17. Make a list of your accomplishments.
Include anything that made you feel good about yourself, without thinking about whether it is technically an “accomplishment” or not. (Your ability to relate to children, your chess talent, the amazing cookies you make, the great short story you wrote.) Refer to it whenever you need a boost.

18. Live in the moment.
The more time you spend dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, the more of the present you are wasting. Life is NOW, and you should get out there and embrace it.

19. Do things for others.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in your own little world and forget that there are people out there who are in need. Give to others (your time, company, whatever you have to share) and you’ll find yourself feeling better about yourself.

20. Take care of yourself physically.
Eat well, get enough sleep, kick nasty habits and get some exercise. Treat your body like it deserves to be treated!

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Can You Say Vagina?

How do you feel about your private part? You know…that place “down there.” Is it easy for you to let the word “vagina” slide off your tongue? How close are you to the most intimate part of your femininity?

I was watching a film recently, V-DAY Until The Violence Stops, which was about the movement against violence against women that evolved as a result of the successes of Eve Ensler’s solo hit off-broadway show, The Vagina Monologues. I wish I could have gone to a show, but at best, I was able to listen to the monologues by audio book while driving my car around Dallas. Occasionally honking at rude drivers while listening to women imitating orgasmic sounds and talking about all the many ways they’d heard their vagina called: coochie, puff taco, chocha, etc. I’m sure you can fill in many more blanks, too.

I watched V-DAY and found myself very emotional and crying occasionally as I heard the stories of women from all over the world experiencing physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual abuse- the most damaging one of all, according to film participant, Salma Hayek. I felt their pain. I felt extremely sad, because women are such beautiful, fragile, and strong creatures, yet that fragility is taken advantage of by many. It’s important to talk about what hurts us, and that is what these women in the video were doing and it touched me. Here is a trailer of the film, V-Day Until the Violence Stops, but if you feel motivated to watch the whole film, do it! There are so many strong women among us needing love and support just as we need it ourselves. Respect and love your vagina, because it is the essence of your womanhood. No one can do anything to you that you don’t allow.

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