Beauty
Perfection is Possible
I have been convinced of a truth: Perfection is possible. I know it exists and can be reached, because I just experienced it. I am now more certain of its power, its potential to grab a hold of my heart, even if for a moment, and take me for an unforgettable ride. With this experience, I was transported to the muse’s doorstep and given a taste of the sweet sensations she brings. Before anything can get in the way of this feeling, I must declare it mine. Just as I do with my own life, I am holding it dear to me, embracing it with eyes wide shut and heart wide open. I am thankful, because I know it cannot stay. This moment will pass in exchange for another. It’ll call me, then evade me and I’ll chase it and find it again in some other form, but for now, it’s here…caressing, inspiring and causing feelings in me that I can’t explain. Does this make any sense to you? If the answer is no, then my answer is, GOOD. Mysterious ways…perfection works.
How did I arrive at this final destination? It happened without attempt, without logic or strategy, and had no clear direction- just as love is, as life is– but once I was aware of what I could do to steer perfection my way, the intention was all there. I didn’t seek it out, didn’t pursue it and like the sun rises and sets, it made its appearance. When the journey to this treasured spot began, I was unsure of how or what the experience would be. If I’d allowed my thoughts to take the stage, I would’ve hindered perfection’s debut. So I let go of all thought and chose not to speak. I closed my eyes and envisioned a deep, dark, gentle space within me and took my thoughts there. And left them there. I went with the flow. I let all worries walk out on me. I breathed in and then out, continuing this pace as needed and soon felt myself relaxing. When I felt the potential for thoughts to take the forefront, I pushed back and closed the red curtain on them. This was my stage.
In the beginning, there was a little uncertainty, some restraint, even friction at times. As is every new experience, every new meeting of the minds, of the hearts. But I had faith. And trust. And most of all, desire. I allowed the experience to unfold on its own, giving it the space, time and energy it required of me. I inched forward, then held back, leaped across and over, then surrendered again, not pushing or forcing anything. Cause and effect, baby. I trusted myself and all that was out of my control. Eventually, the pathway that called to me opened up for me and as I journeyed forward, I felt a rush of happiness, peace, and total calm. But the journey wasn’t over yet. I worked hard and was diligent in my efforts, strategic and patient for an outcome that would result in my ultimate favor. Then…it happened. I had arrived, reached success, reconciled my ideal of perfection to one of reality and was left in a state of pure gratitude. Perfection had surprised me, completely conquered my mind and body by simply proving her existence. I was in awe of her power and felt harmony and unity and peace and love. I was speechless. Tears replaced potential words.
What moments of perfection have gone down in the history of your heart? When all is right, smooth sailing, flowing, smiling down on you; when you feel impenetrable, subject to no limits, seemingly (or literally) floating above ground, and you can’t contain yourself, these feelings are what we aspire to achieve every day in life. Perfection is possible and a reachable state of mind, although not a permanent possibility considering the daily distractions that swallow up our mind’s potential power, but it is there, waiting for us to dedicate the time, resources, energy, and belief that it can be experienced. Give yourself the chance to discover and set foot on utopia. Repeatedly. It’s an incomprehensible and convivial place to be. Even if for just one moment.
TweetOpen Your Heart
Open Heart
A Force to be Reckoned With
I find myself reading a brief, well-written biography on the notorious tattoo artist of the popular TLC show L.A. Ink, Miss Kat Von D. It seems more like the foreword on a book. As I read the piece, written by a close friend, what stood out to me most was when the writer mentioned how Kat was “incredibly loyal to her family.” Instantly, I could relate and found something in common with the beauty. She’s not your everyday girl, choosing the body she was born with as her art canvas-something many people wouldn’t comprehend or agree with- and being of somewhat Latino descent, as well as beautiful, I couldn’t help but wonder what her family thought of her work- if they saw it as art or if they simply saw a tattooed body. Did they agree with her chosen way of life? I know how my Mexican mother would view her lifestyle, and the assumptions that would be made about her as a person, but I can’t do that. I respect her work, admire her person. The fact that she is spoken of by friends as a dedicated and loyal member of her family, to her family, tells me perhaps that her family may have supported her aspirations all along. What a huge feat for a woman. To go for what she wanted and be fully backed by the members of her tribe. It’s no wonder she has turned out so successfully and my hope is that she is completely happy. It’s funny how people can be hypocritical. They can smile in your face and then when the time comes to offer up an opinion about you, they chicken out and go with the negative flow of thoughts they may have been harboring about you or your lifestyle or even simply the poor choices you’ve made in your life. People don’t deserve to be judged. Women play a huge role in judging others, one another, themselves, and this is because they are constantly under a watchful eye that doesn’t really exist. It’s all in our mind. And the strength of our heart has the power to combat it. If we could break free from concerning ourselves with what others think of us, stop defending who we are and how we want to live our lives, then we can break the cycle of prejudice and put to rest that hurtful voyeur who dwells within. She is not of your true being. Love your fellow woman and support her art. We all have a desire to create. Women, if given the freedom to be who they want to be, can show the world their wonders. Our place as the bearers of life to this dependent, ever evolving mother earth proves we are the epitome of creativity and a force of nature to be reckoned with.
TweetEmbrace Your Inner Girl
Source: Uploaded by user via Kaylan on Pinterest
I’m capable of telling it like it is and capsizing boats that merit sinking, but I haven’t always gone “there” for fear of how I might be perceived or no longer received. GASP. An image-conscious, convivial woman?
I wish I could say it isn’t so, but it’s one of the biggest challenges for women (raising my hand) to overcome before reaching
The convivial promise land of “This is who I am, this is how I live…take it or leave it.”
Thankfully, we have a TED talk like the one given by Eve Ensler, creator of The Vagina Monologues (pictured above) to remind women how important it is to (more…)
TweetAmerica The Beautiful: America The Beauty Obsessed
I just finished watching the documentary, America The Beautiful, and am grateful to director, Darryl Roberts for offering such a memorable experience for me, a woman, who thankfully feels extremely appreciative of her body and how its served her in life. I highly recommend this film and hope its message reaffirms the love you have within for your mind, body and soul. Be good to yourself and love who you are just as you are.
To learn more about the film, read the synopsis here and check out this trailer:
Discover Your Style and Make a Statement
I’m a faithful supporter of Danielle LaPorte’s site called White Hot Truth and am grateful for the moment in time we shared at her exclusive Austin, Texas Fire Starter Session in September 2009. Her energy was radiant, sexy, alluring, enlightening-my kind of company. She co-authored the book Style Statement and so I got a copy to appease my curiosity and potentially discover more about myself and what I wanted to say to the world. After some serious fun scribbling down and analyzing all the little idiosyncrasies that make up who I am, I discovered (well, already knew but wanted the confirmation) that my style statement is:
Genuine / Sensual. Ultimately, I have the final say about who I am and this book’s conclusions about me are not the end all, but I’d still like to recommend the experience of getting to know oneself better via the Style Statement book. If you’re interested in causing the gems that make up your mind, body and soul to surface and reveal themselves, grab a copy of the book and get started answering some pretty intimate and intriguing questions about yourself. I’ll post my personal notes and insights gathered from this fun experience at a later time.
Learn more about finding your Style Statement here.
TweetMature Beauty
Mature beauty stems from woman’s sense of personal authority and the richness of her life. The mature erotic woman possesses the quality of inner harmony that communicates a sense that she is at ease with herself. Obviously she cares about her health and good grooming, but she has clearly found a style that suits her. She exhibits a flair for vibrant and sensual colors, and the cut of her clothing compliments her feminine curves, but does not scream, “look at my body parts.” Most importantly, mature erotic women glow from within. It is this luminosity that is so enormously attractive. Crone women who have continued to grow and are following their personal path of power are truly luminous beings of great worth. This is the promise of mature erotic beauty.
–Source unknown
Tweet20 Ways to Boost Your Confidence
While going through my dusty digital attic of email files, I rediscovered this:
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
20 Ways to Boost Your Confidence
CONFIDENCE … It is sexy, attractive, and alluring to both men and women!
How a person carries and presents himself or herself is a time-tested aphrodisiac. It’s also a quality that both sexes eagerly look for in a long-term partner. Confidence reflects self-acceptance and self-love.
TRUETM Advisory Board member Dr. Ilona Jerabek presents the following tips for building and keeping a high self-esteem. Take these to heart and improve your personal and love life today!
1. Spend some time getting to know yourself.
Use your Advice for Me report from your TRUE Compatibility Test to do some thinking about what makes you “you.” This doesn’t necessarily mean hours of reflection (although some of that is good as well). You can also learn a lot more about who you are by getting out in the world and doing things. Meet people, take up hobbies, volunteer – you’ll discover much about the world and reinforce your own sense of self at the same time. Get involved in your life!
2. Act.
When you’re feeling insecure or doubting your abilities, don’t hide away. Take a deep breath, get out there, and do the very things you’re unsure about … even if you have to start small. If, for example, you want to act in a play, but you’re not sure you can do it, why not sign up for a very small part? You’ll build your confidence.
3. Conquer fear: take risks.
Sometimes life requires a small “leap of faith.” You’ll feel good that you took some risks, even if they don’t always work out as well as you hope. At least you can say you tried!
4. Stand up for yourself.
Low self-esteem often leads to lack of assertiveness; and when we don’t voice what we want and need, we end up feeling worse about who we are. Build your assertiveness skills, and it will get easier in time.
5. Set personal goals.
Decide where you’d like to go, and make a reasonable, yet challenging, plan to get there. Set deadlines and a system of rewards to keep you going. (A goal, by the way, doesn’t have to be a huge life decision, like “become a doctor”. It can be anything you want to have in your life, like “Make one new friend” or “Learn to make jam.”)
6. Learn from – but let go of – mistakes.
Absolutely everyone, no matter how perfect they may seem, messes up from time to time. This is how we learn – like the process of learning to walk as children. If we don’t stumble, we don’t learn how to keep our balance. Keep this in mind as you venture out into the world. Be gentle with yourself.
7. Do things on your own – don’t rely on others to make you feel good.
One potential trap of a shaky self-esteem is dependency on others. The real truth is, if you feel a void inside, no one can fill it but you. While healthy relationships are important for happiness, more important is the relationship we have with ourselves.
8. Don’t compare yourself to others.
You may look at someone and think they have something you don’t, but the fact is they may be looking at you and thinking the very same thing. Someone may be better than you are at tennis, for example, but you can tell a much better joke. Judge yourself by your own standards, for you are unique!
9. Associate with people who affirm who you are.
Do you have toxic relationships with people who criticize you or make you feel small? Take a good look at the people you surround yourself with and how they affect your self-esteem.
10. Learn to say “no.”
You will be surprised how much simpler it is than you think. When you really can’t or don’t want to do something, say so. (In, of course, a polite and non-aggressive manner.)
11. Practice truthfulness.
Avoid white lies. We often fib because we think we are sparing feelings or making things easier, but dishonesty only ends up making us feel bad about ourselves. Don’t present a false face.
12. Practice positive affirmations.
Write down 5 or 10 things you really like about yourself. And next time a negative thought pops into your mind, replace it with something positive.
13. Find things you enjoy.
Whether it’s sewing, drawing, swimming or karate, hobbies are a big self-esteem booster. Even if we are not experts, doing something for the pleasure and challenge builds our sense of who we are.
14. Use visualization techniques.
If you’re anxious or doubtful about your ability to do something (ask your boss for a raise or compete in a marathon, for example), practice visualizing that moment in detail. Imagine yourself pulling it off smoothly. It’ll lower your fear and boost your confidence.
15. Enhance your ability to cope with stress.
It’s not so easy to believe in yourself if you’re stressed out. Develop a repertoire of strategies for calming your spirit and incorporate them into your life as much as possible (like reading a good book, talking to friends, riding a horse or taking a bubble bath).
16. Shun perfectionism.
Interestingly, there is a high correlation between perfectionism and low self-esteem. The more you strive to be perfect, the more frustrated you become when you realize it’s impossible! Be aware of any perfectionist tendencies you have and keep them in check.
17. Make a list of your accomplishments.
Include anything that made you feel good about yourself, without thinking about whether it is technically an “accomplishment” or not. (Your ability to relate to children, your chess talent, the amazing cookies you make, the great short story you wrote.) Refer to it whenever you need a boost.
18. Live in the moment.
The more time you spend dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, the more of the present you are wasting. Life is NOW, and you should get out there and embrace it.
19. Do things for others.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in your own little world and forget that there are people out there who are in need. Give to others (your time, company, whatever you have to share) and you’ll find yourself feeling better about yourself.
20. Take care of yourself physically.
Eat well, get enough sleep, kick nasty habits and get some exercise. Treat your body like it deserves to be treated!
Can You Say Vagina?
How do you feel about your private part? You know…that place “down there.” Is it easy for you to let the word “vagina” slide off your tongue? How close are you to the most intimate part of your femininity?
I was watching a film recently, V-DAY Until The Violence Stops, which was about the movement against violence against women that evolved as a result of the successes of Eve Ensler’s solo hit off-broadway show, The Vagina Monologues. I wish I could have gone to a show, but at best, I was able to listen to the monologues by audio book while driving my car around Dallas. Occasionally honking at rude drivers while listening to women imitating orgasmic sounds and talking about all the many ways they’d heard their vagina called: coochie, puff taco, chocha, etc. I’m sure you can fill in many more blanks, too.
I watched V-DAY and found myself very emotional and crying occasionally as I heard the stories of women from all over the world experiencing physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual abuse- the most damaging one of all, according to film participant, Salma Hayek. I felt their pain. I felt extremely sad, because women are such beautiful, fragile, and strong creatures, yet that fragility is taken advantage of by many. It’s important to talk about what hurts us, and that is what these women in the video were doing and it touched me. Here is a trailer of the film, V-Day Until the Violence Stops, but if you feel motivated to watch the whole film, do it! There are so many strong women among us needing love and support just as we need it ourselves. Respect and love your vagina, because it is the essence of your womanhood. No one can do anything to you that you don’t allow.
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