Taking The Stage, Fear and All
In a Ted Talk given by Sarah Kay of Project V.O.I.C.E., she recites two poems and speaks candidly about the power of the written word spoken aloud. There was a moment during her talk when her nervousness was evident; she was even bold enough to call herself out on it while on stage. I’m sure I wasn’t the only person to connect with her in that moment when she showed us her humanity.
Her sense of playfulness, energy and spirit resonated on a deep level with me, and although she’s a seasoned spoken word artist, she still experiences nerves on stage, but no matter the fear, she does it anyway.
Performing ones words on a stage is risky business.
I do it here and occasionally exit this virtual stage for a real one at say a workshop, networker or a convivial gathering. Every time I think of getting up in front of people, I imagine all chairs screeching so audience members can get a better look at me, and the nerves come out to play, but…I do it anyway. I recognize that one aspect of my discomfort in having all eyes on me is the introvert in me, but thankfully, I’m affable and can balance it out. The bigger part is simply a matter of more practice. Just as babies don’t walk out of the womb, neither should we think our fear of the unknown or stepping out in front of people to do what it is we do (or want to do) can be overcome in an instant or banished altogether.
We never stop fearing. We only get better and bolder at facing it.
I’m reminded of how I envisioned my wedding day. I didn’t focus on the dress, the shoes, ooh the ring, the flowers, or whatever else you dream about for that day. All I saw was me walking down this long aisle and having everyone staring at me. It made me want to elope! But once I got over that thought, I faced my fear of being the center of attention by choosing a church with a very long aisle to walk down. I can’t say I consciously chose the church to face my fear, but when that day came, I walked that bad boy of an aisle as if I was a woman about to go forth and sin and don’t even remember the gawkers for family members staring me down until after I was pronounced wife of a handsome man. Once you’re in the moment and it’s time to bust a move, believe me, you will surprise yourself. (If you want it…you got it! Just bust a move…)
Stepping out of your comfort zone and onto a stage (or into an uncomfortable situation) will bring on a swarm of butterflies.
It just means you’re suppose to do this…whatever this is for you. You may experience thoughts like “What if I go blank when its time to speak? What if I don’t get my message across? What if I just completely bomb or look foolish?” Well…what if those things happen? At least you took the risk, summoned up the courage to put yourself out there, gave it your best shot and you did it, balls to the wall, fear and all.
You now can claim a new experience under your belt, another goal met, another fear faced, another challenge won, another lesson learned. You have the memory to look back on and smile with pride, to analyze and pick the good from the bad and pull the lessons from, and you have new wisdom and insight on how to improve your performance the next time around. But none of this would’ve been possible had you not moved past your fears and self-limiting beliefs.
But what if you’re not a spoken word artist, a writer, a speaker, or what have you? Well, you are creative in your own unique way and you can apply this knowledge to how you perform the role of being YOU every day in your life and relationships.
“…All the world’s a stage, and all men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts…” -Shakespeare, As You Like It
What I’m doing here at The Convivial Woman is taking the stage in my own way, telling the stories only I can tell, sharing what I’ve figured out to be true, infusing the work I’m doing with all that matters to me and makes me ME. This is the playground where I explore, take risks, grow in wisdom, learn from my mistakes, and share the lessons. It’s the place where I share all that calls me in this world-the places, people, things, sights and sounds. It’s my experience as a woman, friend, sister, wife, mother, daughter, writer, creative, artist and entrepreneur.
I want to encourage you to decide on the stage you are called to perform on, then take your cue and make your move. And if that notion makes you nervous and uncomfortable, well, looks like you should do it anyway.
Have a look at Sarah Kay performing on stage and see the wonder of how one woman’s words and the innocence and conviction behind them can bring people out from a comfy seat and onto their feet for a standing ovation.
Ciao Ciao,
Cheryl Chavarria
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