Guest Post by One of My All-Time Favorite Friends
Is it time for you to go from What Happened? to What’s Next?
I’d like to share these words of wisdom one of my all-time best friends, Juan Carlos Bernal recently shared with me.
Carlos (as I know him) has been very encouraging and supportive of my efforts and message at Convivial Society and I couldn’t be more grateful to have someone like him in my corner.
It’s certain that neither him nor I ever imagined he’d be making an appearance here since my site targets women and he’s a MAN MAN, but his words struck me as being pretty powerful and I felt it would be selfish on my part to keep them all to myself. I’m sure we can all benefit from some tough talk and love every now and then, so with his permission, here they are…
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Your Greatest Competition is You
As a friend of mine says, “Life is Good” and I believe that. In life, there are great times. I have always loved life. Even when life sucks, it’s good. Why?
Every day you wake up alive and have the ability to use your mind to make decisions that will affect the rest of your life.
As I said, life can be great, and all those great moments we cherish and hold on to the memories forever, but there is one bad thing about good times– you don’t find out who you are in those moments. In life, no matter who you are, where you’re from, or what your situation is, we all face adversity.
If you’re a single mom, if you’re in Iraq, if you’re life isn’t what you thought, if you’re in unhealthy relationships… in adversity, those are the moments where you find out what you’re REALLY made of, who you REALLY are, not what or who you think you are.
I was in the gym one day. I love working out, not because of vanity or because of fitness reasons. I love it, because I get to challenge myself everyday. I get to compete with me. If I’m exhausted and don’t think I can go anymore, I keep going. If there is a weight I’m scared of, I try it.
If there is something I don’t think I can do, I do it, and I bring an intensity level as if it’s my last day on earth, and I see the result because of it. As I rest in between sets, I look around the gym. I see people on the treadmill, just running along, not really exerting themselves, not pushing themselves. They will never get results doing that. Cardio is supposed to be hard, not just going through the motions. I see other people working out, but not really pushing themselves, just going through the motions.
The last few months, I have really been thinking, What if I take my attitude in the gym and apply it to life? What would happen? Because it’s the same thing.
There have been times in my life when I have been very depressed, and lonely, and sad, and I used to just wallow in it. What a waste of time that is. But then, I started taking a different attitude, challenging myself, UN-depressing myself.
We are our greatest obstacle, because in the end, if you don’t do something…it’s your fault. Life is full of adversity, and many scary moments. In the words of Rocky, “Life isn’t sunshine and rainbows.”
So, how do we deal with that? Because life isn’t going to go away. Do we cower to the adversity and challenges? Do we take steps backward and wait? Do we do nothing and see what happens? Or do we grab adversity by the throat and say, “BRING IT, I GOT YOUR NUMBER.”
Do we challenge ourselves to make it through? I think so. I have challenged myself mentally and can say it is- and was- VERY rewarding and I had a feeling of accomplishment. It made me want to challenge myself even more.
I no longer fear life as I did before. I no longer fear hard times. In fact, I almost look forward to them, because I know I have what it takes to dominate them.
YOU NEED TWO THINGS IN LIFE:
Will & Love
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You have to have the will and determination to attack life and be proactive, no matter how hard it gets, because I promise it will be hard.
Challenge yourself. Never stop moving forward. If a shark stops moving, it dies. Take that same attitude in life and don’t stop moving forward. One step at a time, no matter how big or small that step is, make it forward.
See what you are REALLY made of, REALLY MADE OF!
And we are not robots. We have feelings and emotions and are all human. That is where love comes in.
Go to those that love you, and I mean REALLY love you, and not just tell you what you want to hear, because they will help you through and get you back on track.
I remember one time, I was in a bad spot. I had NO money, and didn’t have enough to eat. I asked a friend for money. They said, “NO.” At the moment, I was pissed, but as time went on, I realized that THAT WAS LOVE! I had made some choices which got me into that bad spot and they knew helping in that way wouldn’t help me in the long run.
Love doesn’t always mean lovey-dovey support and telling you what you want to hear to make you feel better. Love is sometimes a smack in the face, “WAKE UP MOTHERFUCKER. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.”
My advice to people out there is…
See who you are, who you REALLY are.
Challenge yourself everyday, compete with yourself everyday to become better than the day before. You will be amazed at the things and goals you can accomplish.
There will be many scary moments, but take this attitude, “FUCK FEAR.”
Bow down to none of it and stand tall, stand tall with an attitude of strength and total faith in yourself.
Some people might take this as cocky, or my trying to be a macho man…bottom line, they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about because they’re just going through the motions.
Loved ones will help, but no one will do anything for you. So, GO! Go see who you really are. You’ll be amazed at what you’re capable of doing if you push yourself to a limit that you thought was unattainable, because IF you push yourself, EVERY…..FUCKING……THING is attainable.
There is nothing you can’t do, and if there is nothing you can’t do, then imagine who you’ll become- AMAZING.
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Guest writer, Juan Carlos Bernal is a veteran of the United States Air Force, a Chicago native, die-hard Dallas Cowboys Bears and Cubs fan, has a tattoo of his three best friends on his arm (yours truly included) and currently lives and works in Baghdad, Iraq as a firefighter training Iraqis to take care of their own. He ends his contract at the end of the year and will embark on a new mission in 2011: Operation Find A Wife. This may or may not be his last appearance on Convivial Society.
Love the read. Makes me want to get out and challenge myself.
12 Oct 10
I’m inspired and motivated even more now after reading this again. Thank you my dear and awesome friend, Carlos!
12 Oct 10
Get your challenge on!
12 Oct 10